One discussion I think every corp member tries to avoid is the one where they must discuss someone quitting the corp. This can range from someone you barely knew at Institute to one of your closest friends in your new city. People quit Teach for America all the time and as a corp member you probably have made plenty of friends who quit. Unfortunately the culture around quitting Teach for America is still very much one of shame. Whereas in the past I've heard of people openly badmouthing corp members who quit, now there seems to be an implicit shame that is marked upon those who quit. When someone quits, suddenly their lives become a huge question mark. We all discuss them as if we are not sure if they quit or not, when we all pretty much know they left. If they tell us, we discuss their departure in two manners, either vehemently defending them or halfheartedly defending them while insinuating a dash of irresponsibility. What is left is an awkward process where those who quit must divorce themselves from all facets of the corp, be it positive or negative. Eventually, if you're lucky, some of your tfa friends draw a line in the sand, making it clear that they don't care if someone quit. Unfortunately the opposite response is gradually ghosting someone's life until the moment you Facebook unfriend them goes basically unnoticed. Of course this also works in reverse. There are those who took their commitment very seriously and for the first time in their lives are unable to complete something they set their mind to. The self guilt drives them to abandon all things TFA related, including the people. While some of this emotional messiness is unavoidable, if the culture was a little more open about why people quit and how people can quit without divorcing themselves from the mission, I think it would actually lead to fewer people quitting.
First, we need to change the taboo over quitting. Often when people quit it comes as an abrupt decision, even if you knew they were having difficulty for months. That's because it's frowned upon to admit that you're contemplating quitting. Instead you put on the smile and persevere for the kids. But what if corp members were able to openly discuss that they were considering quitting? Then we'd actually know who needs extra support and who is just working through some kinks. Teaching is a difficult and arduous journey, but that does not mean the desire to quit makes someone a lost cause. In fact the desire to quit could be one of the strongest indicators for an immediate intervention. Someone who is about to quit can possibly be at the moment where they are open to taking the most advice. If nothing is working, then sometimes changing everything is all that is left. Any form of communication about quitting should be preferred over the drawn out process of silent contemplation that leads to eventual abrupt resignation.
To make a conversation about quitting a safe one we need to stop openly shaming people who quit. People who quit can be discussed in a constructive manner. In fact, instead of turning a blind eye it's probably better that people openly digest the departure of a corp member. We can acknowledge all the challenges they faced and how they were and were not supported by TFA, their school, the district, etc. An open forum that focuses on constructive speech, rather than punitive could hold other stakeholders accountable who are often left off the hook for a corp member quitting. Rarely do we ask what could the principal have done or what could the TFA office have done. The onus is typically forced on the corp member themselves. Responsibility won't be completely stripped from the corp member, it will just be contextualized.
Finally, we need to acknowledge our own judgmental tendencies and try our hardest to disarm them. I am especially guilty of this. I am proud of the time I've spent as a corp member and it frustrates me when people quit for personal opportunity, leaving schools and several classes of children in complete disarray for months. But just because you're time in the corp is enjoyable does not mean everyone else is having the same experience. When someone quits and it is discussed, people need to keep their minds open and more importantly need to empathize with the person quitting. It's not enough to simply critique. For any true healing to occur we must accept that a person can quit for a perfectly legitimate reason and we do not have the authority to judge.
So to all my friends who have quit TFA, I apologize if you ever felt like I thought less of you for quitting. I honestly find that many of my friends who quit legitimately wanted to continue in their service, but could not. They had to maintain their own personal health, which is always a top priority for an individual.
Side note: While this may clear the air on my feelings towards quitting it does not somehow legitimatize the obnoxious TFA horror stories posted online. I find many of those posts to be fueled by malice and disappointment, often creating a narrative of inept teachers and principals, inept TFA staff, inept parents, and implicitly, inept students. I urge anyone reading on this topic to get a plethora of viewpoints on the program before making a judgement. There is a lot of good and bad to be had from the program and from the education system in general.
First, we need to change the taboo over quitting. Often when people quit it comes as an abrupt decision, even if you knew they were having difficulty for months. That's because it's frowned upon to admit that you're contemplating quitting. Instead you put on the smile and persevere for the kids. But what if corp members were able to openly discuss that they were considering quitting? Then we'd actually know who needs extra support and who is just working through some kinks. Teaching is a difficult and arduous journey, but that does not mean the desire to quit makes someone a lost cause. In fact the desire to quit could be one of the strongest indicators for an immediate intervention. Someone who is about to quit can possibly be at the moment where they are open to taking the most advice. If nothing is working, then sometimes changing everything is all that is left. Any form of communication about quitting should be preferred over the drawn out process of silent contemplation that leads to eventual abrupt resignation.
To make a conversation about quitting a safe one we need to stop openly shaming people who quit. People who quit can be discussed in a constructive manner. In fact, instead of turning a blind eye it's probably better that people openly digest the departure of a corp member. We can acknowledge all the challenges they faced and how they were and were not supported by TFA, their school, the district, etc. An open forum that focuses on constructive speech, rather than punitive could hold other stakeholders accountable who are often left off the hook for a corp member quitting. Rarely do we ask what could the principal have done or what could the TFA office have done. The onus is typically forced on the corp member themselves. Responsibility won't be completely stripped from the corp member, it will just be contextualized.
Finally, we need to acknowledge our own judgmental tendencies and try our hardest to disarm them. I am especially guilty of this. I am proud of the time I've spent as a corp member and it frustrates me when people quit for personal opportunity, leaving schools and several classes of children in complete disarray for months. But just because you're time in the corp is enjoyable does not mean everyone else is having the same experience. When someone quits and it is discussed, people need to keep their minds open and more importantly need to empathize with the person quitting. It's not enough to simply critique. For any true healing to occur we must accept that a person can quit for a perfectly legitimate reason and we do not have the authority to judge.
So to all my friends who have quit TFA, I apologize if you ever felt like I thought less of you for quitting. I honestly find that many of my friends who quit legitimately wanted to continue in their service, but could not. They had to maintain their own personal health, which is always a top priority for an individual.
Side note: While this may clear the air on my feelings towards quitting it does not somehow legitimatize the obnoxious TFA horror stories posted online. I find many of those posts to be fueled by malice and disappointment, often creating a narrative of inept teachers and principals, inept TFA staff, inept parents, and implicitly, inept students. I urge anyone reading on this topic to get a plethora of viewpoints on the program before making a judgement. There is a lot of good and bad to be had from the program and from the education system in general.
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