Fuck Chivalry. Yay High standards!

                  If I have to read another chivalry is dead article I'm going to puke. Chivalry is a sexist concept, can we just be honest about that. The notion that men have to go through a ridiculous prescription of actions and responsibilities in order to properly court a girl puts all agency and control in the man leaving the woman to be a passive recipient. And God forbid if she decides to reject a "chivalrous" gentleman, then she is ostracized, being labeled as"stuck up." That sounds shitty for both parties. Yet, I still hear a chorus of articles chiming about how "dates aren't a thing anymore" or "men don't want to define relationships." Yes, those are negative aspects of our current dating culture, but is your solution really an archaic notion of gender roles? What's worse is we're moving from getting down on chivalry to getting down on women being realistic. An article on how "women should be more high maintenance" irked me as the examples given were really just proving the point of "women should have basic expectations for dating and romance." The article cites a man inviting a woman over his place for a first date as an avoidable occurrence if a woman chooses to be "high maintenance." Actually that's pretty avoidable if you just have basic standards for dating.

does this scream romance to you?

          I'm tired of backwards expectations for dating. I think women should be able to have considerable say in what dates are and how they should go. I think men, while certainly obliged to pay for a first date because they are the ones who typically ask for them, should not feel threatened if a girl decides to ask them out. You know what's an attractive characteristic? Confidence. I think chivalry and all of its tenets should not all be obligatory. Holding the door, helping someone over a puddle, pulling out someone's chair, these are obligatory due to common courtesy, not because of some invisible "guy code." Buying someone roses, complimenting what someone wears, even at times paying for dinner, these are not actions that are obligatory, they're earned based on how someone piques another's interest. As I said in my last post, being a little selfish is actually healthy when initially dating. 

        The final aspect of chivalry I despise is the need to protect a "woman's honor." By chiming in before allowing a woman to speak for herself you are essentially treating her like a child. I'm not going to ignore the clear physical and violent dimension these types of exchanges take. You can be just as supportive by standing right by a woman as she deals with an altercation herself. Your presence and clear physical disposition is enough to let another man know that violence will not be tolerated. However, how the altercation should be handled is completely up to the woman. Of course intervene when someone is feeling overwhelmed, but again this is not because of chivalry, it's because that's what people do when they see other people in similar circumstances. 

      I have not been on many dates, but for the ones I have been on, I acted in a way that was going to make me happy, while also being respectful to the person I was dating. Instead of stressing over ridiculous notions of whether the date was done proper, I focused on getting to know the person I was meeting. That's what dating culture should be about. That's what people should be pushing for. Stop it with the chivalry crap. It ain't cute.