Monday, August 18, 2014

Things they don't tell you about being an RA that you should know going in

I was an RA for two years, my second year serving as a leader for my staff and I can tell you that there's a lot of things they don't tell new RAs or people considering staff. Here are just a few things I think people should know about before joining.

1. You will most likely be put into situations that you have not been prepared for. Furthermore, you can potentially be reprimanded or fired for not following a protocol you weren't explicitly taught. -
       I've seen plenty of situations play out where residents did things that were ridiculous and the protocol for how to deal with it simply wasn't clear. The mantra in most buildings tends to be "when in doubt page up", but if it's a particularly busy night and the supervisor above you isn't responding, then it becomes your responsibility to deal with the situation as you see best. Veteran RAs know better than to let these situations fall on them, so typically they'll play everything on the side of caution. But a new RA, who is eager to make a positive impact on their residents and is committed to keeping their residents safe can easily get themselves involved in an incident that they can't handle. But Raymond what kind of incident would you be describing? There can be medical emergencies where the student refuses to take your advice ( which is always to call the ambulance). Any veteran RA would know to page up and if they did not receive any guidance because leadership is currently not around, then they would just call the ambulance themselves. Remember safety is paramount and choosing not to call could put that resident's life in danger.

2. You may be given unclear or mixed messages about how to enforce rules -
     Let's face it, different boss, different standards. I was fortunate to be in a building that played it by the books, but other buildings certainly were not like that. Also, your training in the beginning concerning rules and regulations could be completely ignored or even discouraged when the regular year came up. Typically this will have no negative bearing on you. If every RA looks the other way over a slightly giddy underage resident coming back at 1:30 am on your round, then you certainly won't be reported (unless your staff hates you). But let's say that giddy resident hurts themselves or has a medical emergency. If you were found to have engaged with that resident without enforcing a zero tolerance policy about drinking that could have possibly prevented injury, then you should expect serious repercussions. Strict rules are frustrating, but they can save you from putting residents' lives in danger and save you from risking your job. People may not like you on your staff, but oh well.

3. You may deal with incredibly difficult experiences (e.g. suicide ideation and sexual assault)
     This point is in no way meant to discourage new RAs. My training covered quite thoroughly how to deal with these scenarios, but no amount of training prepares you for the real thing. If you are committed to the job and truly care for your residents, then this should be something you are willing to take on. Your residents need to know that when you took this job, you are ready if any of them need you in this capacity. This does not mean you need to play the role of psychologist, best friend, and advocate (in fact for your own health and for theirs you shouldn't attempt to be any of those things). It means if your resident ever needs support you offer it and you connect them to the resources they need. Again this isn't meant to be discouraging, but realistic.

4. You may be on a staff that has a history of negative or bad RAs
      I've met horrible RAs. The one hallmark of a horrible RA is they tend to not realize how horrible they are at their job. When a staff has multiple horrible RAs, then you will find yourself fighting to do your job because often they will advocate for the bare minimum to be done at all times. The bare minimum extends to everything. No effort for residents and no effort for staff relations. As a new RA you may not feel comfortable calling out a veteran RA, but if they are honestly not doing their job, then feel free to do so. You can attempt to discuss it with your supervisor. If that doesn't work, then sometimes bringing up issues (don't target specific members, target specific behavior) in staff meetings may also be helpful. Often you'll feel that everyone is complicit with the poor behavior. I found that was not the case. Many RAs want to do a decent job and when they're prevented from accomplishing anything because everyone isn't willing to carry their own weight, then they are more than willing to apply some good old fashion pressure on their less than willing co-workers.

5. You may be on a staff that has bad leadership
   Bad leadership is just as bad as having a negative staff (possibly even worse). I don't have good ways of handling this situation. Often there are avenues to report leadership, but naturally housing protects their leadership positions, especially if your housing department has had difficulty filling out those positions in the past. You can try discussing it with your leadership in  a positive and respectful way, but often you'll find that bad leadership is also stubborn leadership. One way I dealt with bad leadership from other staffs is by simply ignoring their authority. At the point I was well versed in how procedures worked in housing and so I felt comfortable just ignoring the advice and suggestions coming from leadership that I found to be detrimental to my development as an RA. I was fortunate to have awesome leadership as an RA, but I have heard quite the opposite.

6. You may have no leadership whatsoever
People quit. Shit happens and expecting your lead RA to fill that gap is wrong. Lead RAs can only do so much. So when leadership quits, you'll need to make do. If you're new, feel free to go to your lead RA or another veteran RA for help. If you are a veteran RA, you honestly should step up.

7. You may have staff members who are not socially just
     It is typically taboo to call others out for not being socially just (you look like a pretentious asshole), but when a staff member clearly uses a racial slur or makes sexist get back to the kitchen jokes, you are often taken aback with pure disbelief because staff is the last place you would expect to hear that. Report them to leadership.

8. Staff doesn't write up Staff
    The most well known unspoken rule ever to exist is that staff members tend to not write each other up. There are plenty of reasons why. 1. Getting someone fired isn't cool. 2. If they don't get fired now you have someone on staff who hates you. 3. Everyone else on staff is now worried that you will write them up, sowing distrust in the staff. I always felt weird about this rule. As a lead RA it was never an issue because I tried hard to lead by example and most RAs were smart about what ever extra curricular activities they decided to partake in. But when I was a new RA, there were plenty of times when I wondered should residents even be seeing RAs like that. It feels weird. You're gonna feel uncomfortable. It's your choice on how to handle it. If you write up staff, I honestly wouldn't think any different of you. I believe every RA needs to make that choice for themselves.

9. There are moochers on every staff. Telling them to stop early typically saves headaches. If you don't then expect to be frustrated forever
 Self explanatory, if someone has you cover their shifts and don't repay the favor, then stop covering their shifts. Once everyone on staff has decided to ignore them, then they'll get the hint.

10. You residents actually do care and want to get to know you-
       You will hear that most residents don't care. That's absolute bullshit. Most people love talking about themselves. For those who aren't self absorbed, they tend to ask legitimate questions. Make yourself available, commit to getting to know them and maintain friendships.

I loved being an RA. It shaped my view on things and pushed me into the service commitment I am currently doing with Teach For America. Anyone who wants to be an RA, I suggest you do it. I just want you to be prepared for a level of dysfunction that may not seem apparent at first. Some tips

1. Stay positive- Once you give up (on your staff or your residents) they will give on you as well
2. Feel free to cry- staff can be stressful. Sometimes you want to be strong like the rest of them. That's bullshit. We all breakdown. The worst of them (me included) just do it in our rooms, alone, locked up, wishing you could tell someone.
3. Residents-RA is a two way street.
4. Staff can be staff or family, your choice
5. Use your unlimited meal plan while it last.

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