Who am I?

                I seem to be what I'm not you see...I'm lonely and no one can tell. - "Great Pretender"
Let's play a game! Who am I?

        I don't speak Spanish. I like Radiohead. I like Aventura. But that isn't enough for you. I don't like kidney beans. I have had arroz con any meat you can possibly imagine, but you will still doubt whether I know what actual Puerto Rican food should taste like. I am not the Latino your family will love. I am a college graduate who speaks with a pompous inflection. I am not Latino to you. I am marble to you, but you cannot see your reflection in my glossy surface. I am pale to you. You will continue to compliment my eyes and my hair, but you will never love my slacks and loafers. I ask myself everyday who am I? You will not love me because I  do not have a fade hair cut with a mohawk. You will not love me because I don't act with a machismo attitude. I don't need your love. I will never be the son who will say la bendicion. I will say I love you and when you are not there I will talk about how my mother got me through college. I cannot dance bachata, salsa, and merengue well. I can write. I can get poems published in literary magazines.
              I will never be white. I am not tall enough to be white. I do not have blonde hair. I cannot get a fake tan, my skin will turn copper on its own. I do not like how I met your mother. I do like It's always sunny in Philadelphia. I am not ethnically ambiguous.I am Puerto Rican first, Latino second. I do not have American pedigree. My family traces themselves back to the Taino. I want to be a Lawyer. I am a school teacher. I will say Teach for America first. Your parents won't be comfortable if you first tell them I'm Puerto Rican. Your parents will love how respectful I am. I am not expected to succeed. My back has been patted out of paternalistic need. I have some hair that turns blonde in the sun. My beard goes blond. I have hazel green eyes. My genes are brown eyed. I have watched someone get jumped. I have hurt other people. I am not innocent. I am not a thug.
        You have rebuked me. I will persist in the belief that if I become tremendous, you will want to become me. But you will never want to become me. I don't want to become me. I can only sound white or inauthentic to you. I am not white. I am not a traditional Latino. 

Click on this to learn the secret to criticizing white privilege without alienating half of your friends on facebook!

              How can minorities talk about white privilege without alienating most white people? Introducing the "upper middle class" reassurance gag. Make most white people feel like your post isn't about them by specifying you're only talking about white upper middle class people. Since even the upper middle class thinks their not in the upper middle class, while the rich believe they are the upper middle class, you'll pretty much only offend a small percentage of the friends on your facebook. In the mean time you get to rip into all the aspects of white privilege you hate the most. I hate that words like dude and totes are considered eccentric, while the words homie and "mad" are considered unrefined and ghetto. Darn those whit... I mean upper middle class white people! If you want to take your race avoidance to a whole new level, omit any mention of race. Affirmative action is cool when it's only based on SES! Keep up with this practice and you too can be a trendy social justice writer who has bunch of reblogs on tumblr.

Note: use of this technique may result in massive reduction in realness
Second note: I know this is super corny, I was bored. 

Things I wish someone would have told me before joining Teach For America

                I have finished my first few months as a teacher and while it hasn't been easy it also wasn't the miserable experience everyone told me it would be. The tips and advice I was given by a variety of people about Teach For America was mostly useless in my opinion. Here are a few things I wish someone told me before I joined the Corp. This reflects my personal opinion and your decision to join or not join should be your own.

1. The Corp is not a monolith
              Every Corp is different. The NYC Corp has a different culture from the Baltimore Corp. Every Corp has different quirks, challenges, benefits and hardships depending on the needs of that location. For example, every single NYC Corp member must go to grad school while in the Corp. This is optional in many other locations, making the stress of going to school and being a first year teacher particularly difficult. I'm sure other locations have different difficulties that the NYC Corp doesn't have. That's why it's so crucial for you to talk to a current first or second year CM from that particular region. They'll give you the truth of how things are.


2. Getting accepted is the easy part
          I don't intend to offend anyone who may have been rejected by Teach For America, as I know it's an arduous selection process. But when you are admitted you need to be prepared for the craziness of going on flights for interviews, getting your certification while still in college and also beginning to look for an apartment and roommates in your new location. This on top of finishing your final semester of college can become incredibly stressful, Also, the financial obligation is very taxing. Teach For America tries to alleviate the financial obligation, but there's only so much that they can do. You should honestly talk to someone at your location about what is to be expected from you before you join the corp.

3. You may not teach what you want to teach
          I am an English and Political Science major who is now teaching 6th grade special education math in an ICT setting. I hate math. I never wanted to teach math yet here I am teaching it and it's something I've grown to accept. You joined the corp committed to filling the needs of the community. You don't get to be upset and disgruntled because you don't get to be comfortable. Now that being said it's not like TFA tries to place you somewhere you don't want to be. On the contrary, they make a concerted effort to place you somewhere you'll fit well.

4. No one is going to teach you how to teach
        Sure institute is a month long crash course, but I promise you that institute just grazes the small surface that is teaching. Actual teaching is far more difficult and is something you learn while in the classroom. I am lucky enough to simultaneously take graduate school classes so I've been given extra support on proper pedagogy while also learning on the job. TFA has tons of resources at your disposal, but they aren't going to force you to use them. You need to take the first step.

5. The goal isn't to be an amazing teacher for 2 years. It's to eventually be an amazing teacher for 5 to 10 years
        You will hear stories of legendary Corp members who go into their two years burn themselves out doing everything possible for their kids, achieving amazing results, but find themselves too exhausted to continue. I wanted to be those corp members at first, but then I realized that isn't healthy nor is it even beneficial for my kids. I don't know if I'll stay in teaching, but I will definitely not return if I burn myself out. Sustainable teaching practices need to be promoted in order to have long lasting changes in our communities. Be open going into the corp, don't immediately assume you're going to quit.

6. Veteran teachers only hate you if you have an ego
      I trust veteran teachers in my school. They always prove to have insight that's worth far more than what any class could tell me. Teaching has humbled me and I now know that there's so much to learn. Don't go in thinking you're great. You're not. You're a new teacher.

7. Many of the people you meet in institute will quit
        Not everyone is cut out for teaching and not everyone is as supported as you are. Don't be judgmental or shocked when that teacher who won "transformational teacher award" during institute quits in their second month because they had a nervous breakdown. It happens. Teaching is difficult and in the schools we teach in sometimes you fall through the cracks. I learned that friendships don't end when someone quits unless you make them end. Be ready to be supportive of a lot of career changes and please don't ever tell someone to "suck it up"

8. TFA won't hold your hand through the growing pains
       When you hit rock bottom, there is rarely anyone else there but yourself. MTLDs can be amazing or they can be over worked and generally unhelpful. The seminars in TFA will often do nothing to help alleviate the dark hole that can be your first year teacher. Also, if you have a horrible administration it can feel like you're completely isolated. As a NYC corp member who has his family and friends to support him, I am shocked by those who come here from across the country and go through the hell that is your first year teaching alone.

9. Ignore the strong face culture, everyone is secretly crying themselves to sleep
       Ok everyone isn't crying themselves to sleep (especially not some charter folk), but there are plenty of people in the corp who come home from their job and begin sobbing due to the exhaustion. Being a first year teacher can suck and that friend who keeps telling you that her classroom is perfect and she has no problems at all is a huge liar. We all have our rough days. The best conversations I ever had were with corp members who lifted me up when I felt like a failure as a teacher (shout out to my buddies Schulze and Pagnotta :D) So don't stress that you haven't transformed a kid's life yet. The moment will happen if you keep believing in your kids.
I might edit this as I think of more. There's so many things I wish someone would have told me.
Edit #2: Added a few more, I may start another thread called " Things I wish someone would have told me before starting my first year teaching" 

Actual insider tips for College

            I've been lounging around, waiting for Institute for Teach For America and happened to pop on the TV to find Rachel Cruze spouting out nonsense concerning college. She's encouraging students to go to state schools that are far cheaper than their Elite peers and makes the argument that this will put these students at little to no disadvantage. That's a huge lie. I wish it weren't a huge lie, but it is. There are advantages and disadvantages to going to an Elite institution. Going to local state schools also has its own advantages as well. Here are a few actual tips to save money for college, that are doable by almost anyone.

1. Check out the Honors program of your State school- 

 Unless your State school is a UVA or UNC, then your state school is probably average in terms of rankings. Yet you hear of so many people getting amazing jobs after college. That my friends is a result of what some people call "Ivy patches". Honor Programs or Colleges within State institutions tend to provide elite level education regardless of the ranking of the school. These degrees are typically respected locally, so don't try to push your luck too much. Furthermore, these programs tend to have amazing networks all around the world, developed by alumni of the program. Needless to say, these students are the ones getting the best job offers from their career centers, while other students are expected to fumble through the job seeking process. 

2. Ranking isn't everything, but it is something-

 There are advantages for going to an elite institution. The first being name recognition. As I went on interviews for Teaching positions, just the mention of University of Michigan had Principals singing my accolades for academic achievement. Am I deserving of this kind of preferential treatment? Probably not. Did it land me jobs? I doubt it, hard work and dedication is still necessary. But it can be the little bit that puts you over an equally qualified candidate. Furthermore, these degrees have a further geographical reach than your local state school. This reach allows you to easily move throughout the country, while having employers respect your degree. Now if you're set on staying in your geographical region, then honestly you should go to the cheapest state school out there. People have an affinity for local universities and will typically put them on par with elite institutions that are out of state. If your university commands respect in the place where you want to work, then that's the only validation you need. 

3. Elite schools have Elite Networks- 

     Elite schools have a plethora of successful alumni, allowing the opportunities offered through the career center to sometimes be life savers and well worth the high tuition. Now that doesn't mean all people who go to Elite Universities are entitled to these offers. Elite institutions have honors programs, just as other institutions do. Furthermore, the bigger your school, the more competition you're going to have to face. So don't think because you went to an "Elite" institution that a job is going to fall right into your lap. You need to work for it. 

4. There is a debt limit that's hard to predict- 

    If you're planning to go into a field like Economics or Business and you are certain you will be pursuing these things for a career, then definitely go to an elite institution. Getting a BBA from the Ross School of Business in comparison to another Business school could be the difference between Wall Street and unemployment. The issue is many elite institutions are expensive and require you to go into a lot of debt. Some will say screw the debt, you'll be making a lot as an investment banker. Yes, that's true, if you become an investment banker. There needs to be a cap on what students take out in loans and I personally think parents need to take a more proactive role in tempering their kid's aspirations. A parent needs to ask themselves, "how determined is my child to go into finance or economics." If you think your child without a doubt is going to do it, then you should encourage them to take the debt out for a school that can give them the connections they need to get the job they want. If you aren't so sure, then maybe you should encourage your child to go to a cheaper University. Lower rankings do not mean there is any difference in the quality of the education. 

5. You go to college for peers, not Professors- 

   If you're serious about school and have worked hard to attend a great University, then your entitlement isn't to an elite institution, it's to an exceptional cadre of colleagues. That's sometimes the issue with lower ranking schools. The education is great and the opportunities are great, but the student body ends up lacking because the standards to be admitted are far lower than that of a higher ranking school. While making friends may not be your top priority, it can be integral to having a good college experience. Keep this in mind

6. I'm serious about going into (blank), should I go to Harvard? 

This is usually the misconception I see many high school students making. They want to go into a specialized field and assume that an elite institution is the best way to get there. This may not be true. It's important that if you are set on a specialized field, then you check which school has the leading experts in that field. You may be surprised. Elite Institutions do not specialize in everything and lower ranking institutions have far better experts in many topics. If your topic is covered by your local institution, then I think you should go to your local institution. I would only be wary of a few things. First, know what topics are actually germane to your field. Many people might think that English departments might have professors who focus  on early adult fiction or mystery novels and so on. However, the vast majority of English Professors focus on time periods and theories. If you love Early modern poetry written by women in the 17th century, then there's a place for your somewhere. If you want to an expert on Harry Potter, then I think you'll be having a tough time searching for a University that would let you pursue that. Furthermore, choosing a school for their specialization is risky because if you decide you don't want to do that particular topic (as many college students do), you might find yourself stuck in a place that doesn't have the expert you're looking for. 

7. How much money should I take out in loans? 

    If you're thinking about going to college the answer would be as little as possible

    If you're in college, you need to be thinking job, job, job, job, I NEED A JOB (unless you're planning to stay in academia, then your job is school)

Using myself as an example, I worked for the working family party my freshman year summer and wasn't thrilled about the work. Then I worked in Housing and while I enjoyed it, I didn't really want to make it a career. Then I tutored and I knew for a fact I liked teaching. I kept working until I found what I liked to do and that needs to be your mentality when you're in college. You need to find what you like to do and somehow make that thing pay your loans off. The average college student is going into loans of 30,000 plus. That is partially a failure of the government and institutions, but I also think this is also because of the inclination of many parents not to pay. 

Note for parents: If you can't afford college for your child, that is completely understandable. Financial aid should be able to help students who have parents who can't pay tuition. However, if you can afford to give money for your child's education, then shame on you if you withhold that money. I personally think if you're making a salary of 60k or above, and your child asks you to chip in 7 to 9k a year for tuition, then you should do it. That's a reasonable price for any parent. If your child flunks out or is not taking education seriously, then

Social Justice isn't Passive Aggressive, Racism and Sexism are

                   A fellow Wolverine posted on a status I had about a Twitter war between Azealia Banks and Iggy. Naturally Banks went in on Iggy's sudden silence in the wake of the Brown and Garner decisions, leaving twitter gems such as "makes me wanna throw a jar of piss at her." Now just to be clear I loved Banks' comments as they were a raw and candid display of frustration with someone who has appropriated black and hip-hop culture without even attending the cultural tenets both cultures hold dear.
            The Wolverine was displeased with what he perceived as a race to the bottom discussion about contentious political issues about race. He specifically pointed out the twitter battles that force people to take sides. His comment got me thinking about what "twitter battles" actually amount to. Twitter battles really only serve as passive aggressive mud slinging. Neither side will admit they are dismissing the other, but we can all read between the two lines of the pound symbol to see the incendiary subtext being made. And at that moment I took a step back and evaluated what I consider to be "my side."
         While I have been critical of the social justice community as of late, I am still a strong advocate for Social Justice and its beliefs. Could it be that "my side" is equally guilty of fueling this passive aggressive propaganda fest, thus inhibiting any meaningful dialogue and progress from being made? And then I thought of the recent "twitter wars" and realized my answer is resounding no. I believe if we examine the Twitter sphere we will find that many "Twitter Wars" are actually digital social justice movements that are direct and candid which are then met with a slew of passive aggressive counter culture responses (i.e. oppressive, typically white,male,hetero dominated point of view).
                 Let's start with the #blacklivesmatter movement. It started in response to actual events that transpired (i.e. the killing of Garner and Brown). There was no underhanded or indirect acknowledgement of the events. In fact the movement adopted the language associated with the two murders. Many tweets had some derivative of "hands up, don't shoot" and "I can't breathe", tying the movement to the specific incidents and to a larger conversation surrounding police and race relations.
             Now let's compare that with #alllivesmatter. #allivesmatter would not in the least bit be racist if it did not have such reactionary inertia behind it. It was created in response to #blacklivesmatter, but instead of being candid of its critical tone, it instead hides behind a facade of universal justice. Most tweets coming from #allivesmatter find an underhanded way to discredit the #blacklivesmatter movement. Even this seemingly harmless tweet which reads "People who can't understand the importance of human rights and justice need to educate themselves instead of run on emotions," is indirectly criticizing the emotional response by many blacks as an irrational response that borders on close minded. Instead of being candid of her criticism of the #blacklivesmatter movement the twitterer decided to shield herself with a blanket statement. #allivesmatter is ironically hyper conscious of #blacklivesmatter, while #blacklivesmatter is mostly focused on current events that are transpiring in the United States.
         We can see the same trend in #allwomen vs the #notallmen tweets. The #notallmen tweets in this case were in the beginning and in response to the horrible Elliot Roger shooting. But did the tweets actually engage with the feminist conversation surrounding the shooting? No, in fact the whole purpose of the hashtag was to distance men from the reality. In both cases the two hashtags move away from the actual events that transpired and instead shield themselves with comments that undercut what actually happened. #allwomen is simply based on actual experiences. Reading the #allwomen tweets immediately make the experiences of women clear. @allwomen isn't undercutting #notallmen or trying to create a subtext for the #notallment tweets. Instead it provides real life testimony of the egregious sexist acts men do towards women.
    So I'm basically done with this two sides nonsense. There aren't two sides to these stories. These stories are multi-faceted issues, but when your values systems differs in a fundamental way it's because you have become deaf to the experiences of the oppressed. The oppressed only speak with tongue in cheek when they must fake smiles to their oppressors. Twitter is a place for open discourse and naturally the oppressed are candid and direct (e.g. throwing a jar of piss on someone). The only people who are not direct are those who are oppressing and are in self denial. So please take your neutrality somewhere else. You're not neutral, you're petty and passive aggressive and I honestly can't deal with that shit.

AAVE Ebonics and the way I speak

I didn't hear of Ebonics or AAVE till I reached college. My black friends from NYC also didn't hear of Ebonics or AAVE till they reached college. I mean we all knew and used the dialect they were referring to. But the actual designation was never necessary. And clearly we used it to different degrees. Furthermore, Spanglish is another dialect that mixed with my vernancular. The point is that my linguistic journey has been a complicated conglomerate. So when I see people policing language as appropriative claiming "if you're not black, you cannot use that language" I eyebrow raise and get frustrated. I did not have a choice in whether I spoke in ebonics. My Mom, Dad, friends and many people around me spoke in it, so I grew up speaking in it. I learned code switching early as my parents always emphasized the proper language for the proper time. And yes there was a stigma around the language as improper, but I still used it because it was natural for me. I never used it in a sarcastic manner, it was just the way I spoke. That's the issue with ebonics and AAVE being enforced as a language only blacks can use. I don't become upset with my black (non-latino) friends who grew up saying chancla because I know it was forced upon them. I grew up in a diverse neighborhood so I've picked up the slang and vernancular of several cultures. Some of that happens to be black. Now of course certain words are clearly "off limits" and there's a clear tone that makes you an appropriating asshole. but before you call someone out who is using ebonics and isn't black, perhaps you should check yourself. I'm not ignorant to the roots of my language. I know the words that came from my Puerto Rican roots. I know the words that I picked up from my black friends growing up. I know the etymology (not perfectly of course, but I have an idea of where what came from).

Is the stigma still there? Yes. It's a stigma not only placed on blacks, but basically all lower class inner city kids ( so basically predominantly black and latino populations, but not only them). My students in class speak to me in ebonics regularly. I always correct them (code switching is an unfortunate reality we live with and it'd be irresponsible of me not to get them prepared for the scrutiny they will face in traditional academia). If you ask me to stop speaking ebonics because I am not black, my answer is simple: no. That's because it's my language. It's what I grew up speaking. I did not choose to speak it, it was forced on me. When ever I strayed from it, I frequently was told I was "talking white." As a writer I'm constantly confused as to how to speak. Do I maintain clean and crisp prose or do I slip into my New York vernancular where I slip into a smattering of ebonics, slang and odd pronunciation of er endings. Point is before you call someone out be sure it's for good reason. 

You want to save all kids, but you can't and you can

                 One thing I've learned as a teacher that runs counter intuitive to what has been taught to me as a TFA member is to reject the notion that all kids can be saved. I am not advocating for someone to give up on students. I am merely suggesting that when you have a classroom plagued with classroom management issues, targeting the students whose behavior can change should be your first priority and you should not feel guilty for doing so. This will mean that for some period of time you let that one student who is a serious behavior issue sleep in class. Or you consistently send that kid out of the room in order to prevent him (it could be a her as well) from setting off your entire class.
             But Raymond, how could you, doesn't that kid deserve an education too? Yes, he does and currently in your dysfunctional classroom he isn't receiving one. Any attempt you make on changing his behavior isn't going to work because students with his behavior issues cannot correct behavior through normal means. If they see other students then they will react and escalate the situation. That's why sometimes you need to let them flounder a bit while you set the classroom culture. Make it so that the students you can control are consistently following your directions and then slowly but surely those students with serious behavior issues will feel the pressure to conform. Also, when you're spending less time dealing with small behavior issues, then you have time to work and negotiate the difficult behavior coming from that student. Eventually that student will be put back on the list of things to do, but don't feel ashamed if you're overwhelmed and you want to change your classroom culture in a practical way.

As a new teacher I know very little, so naturally I just copy what veteran teachers have taught. Here are some good pragmatic management tips

1. The power of ignore- you will have students who crave attention. Don't punish those students, they want the punishment, punish the students that react to them. Eventually that student will stop because their classmates will ignore them completely.

2. Middle school students are self conscious- addressing a kid in front of the class is powerful because it sends a message to the entire class, if you do this I will call you out and you make look like a complete fool. Of course be selective when you do this, but making an example can sometimes be the best thing you could ever do

3. Transitions!- make transitions as short as possible. It's simple.

4. Don't play on a student's terms. Students want to rile you up. They want you to yell. Just don't do it/ Just give them the consequence and move on.